Episode 243 : Sanitarium

I had long before sworn to myself that I wouldn't dwell on past memories that could potentially derail my sense of purpose for a week or two.

And that I wouldn't write about them here.

However when I think about it now, I find a need to put this down in writing. Because when I plunge myself into mindless frustration during my moments of insanity, I will need something like this to bring me back to my senses.

As someone once said, the ability to triumph lies with you.

My earliest memories of Bangalore in this century are of downtown Bangalore, of its cafes and streets. After I moved, I was able to sandpaper selected ones while retaining others.

However, there was one that had slipped away unnoticed.

As the weekend approached, I wondered whether I would walk away stronger or fall into trouble. Stress at work wasn't helping and neither was a barren travel calendar for the first quarter of 2009.

Hard Rock Cafe in Bangalore was hosting a classic rock experience. Having heard the DJ at work a year ago, I knew what to expect.

I also knew I was returning to the same spot on the same days after many years. It was easier in the years in between- the day fell during the week and work always took care of me. Meanwhile the cafe had changed hands and I secretly feared the evening's experience would get hijacked by a blast from the past.

The evening was unforgettable for many reasons. As the clock neared 11, the DJ introduced the next song with the words "...this is for those who received the rough end of the stick..."

I could not help grinning when the song began playing. I sang myself hoarse that night- off key and wrong lines, but I did not care.

Met a girl, thought she was grand
Fell in love, found out first hand
Went well for a week or two
Then it all came unglued

Five years ago, I was happy for a reason.

Last Saturday, I was happy for a different reason.

Because this time I know for sure that the past cannot affect me anymore.

I see our freedom in my sight
No locked doors, no windows barred
No things to make my brain seem scarred