Episode 278 : The boy with two left feet

'Edward?' the teacher called out.

I should have seen this coming and never taken it up, I thought to myself. Mustering all of my courage, I got up from the corner and walked to the center of the room.

The teacher smiled, gesturing at me to start.

And I stood there silent and unblinking.

My mind was a whirl of memories- how I got there, what I did and what I should be doing now.

1984, Hyderabad.

'You have to choose either music or dance' the class teacher had said. I tossed a coin in my head and signed up.

For classical dance classes.

The teacher was a young woman, probably in her early twenties. And there were around 15 of us.

We began with basic hand and feet movements. Gestures and steps.

'One and two, one and two, one two three four, one two three four'

And so on it went.

The steps were easy, as long as I kept moving with a large mass of moving hands and feet. I was lost in the crowd. And I loved it. Our eyes were on ourselves, on our movements. Nobody looked at me, except for the teacher maybe.

In one of the days that we had our classes, I noticed the music students were giving a test. Each student sat in front of the teacher and sang.

I was appalled, but secretly glad that I did not have to sing in front of everybody.

One day, the teacher announced the date for our test. Naively I forgot how the music test was conducted. Naively I figured we all would show our moves together, get marked and that would be the end.

But to my shock, the teacher called us out one by one.

I watched the first two students show the teacher the correct steps. I grew anxious. I was next.

I cannot dance in front of everybody, I thought to myself. I could not. Not when more than one pair of eyes would critically see every move of mine.

'Edward?' the teacher said a little louder. I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at her.

'The first step?' she asked, indicating how to start.

I shook my head.

'You don't know the steps?' she asked.

I shook my head again.

'Alright, you can go' she smiled.

I picked up my bag and walked out silently, relieved that it got over so quickly.

As I walked out of the school and onto the main road, I did not regret pretending to know nothing. It was as good as knowing nothing, when the mind clams up and the limbs refuse to budge.

I knew all the steps, all the movements. And I knew I if I had overcome my nerves, I could have aced the test. With graceful moves or awkward movements.

I did not make the same mistake the following year. I signed up for violin.