Episode 6 : The Curious Incident Of A Dog On The Road - Cont'd

Previously on The Edward Hyde Show...

It was past noon before we could see an orthopaedist to examine my jaw. I do not know if it was my imagination, but the jaw seemed to ache less as time passed. Maybe it is just a dislocation, I thought. But I would still have to do something about my broken teeth.

I had earlier taken a couple of X-rays, one of the face and one from the side of the jaw. Both were a little painful to take. My head had to be tilted in two awkward angles. Normally that would not have been a problem, but each time I could feel a rush of blood to the head.

Meaning more pain. And I could not even grit my teeth and bear it!

After hearing what had happened the previous afternoon, the orthopaedist put on a pair of gloves and proceeded to work my jaw. Examining the way my lower teeth were set, he told me to try and clench them while he tried something at the joint. I had a feeling I would hear the bone snap into position and hear him say "your jaw is set".

But nothing like that happened.

"You definitely have a fracture in the jaw. What I am not sure is how it is broken". I think he used the words simple and displaced to explain; I am not a medical person.

"The X-rays are not conclusive because your jaw joints are overlapping. Take a CT Scan and bring the report now or in the evening."

He wrote out the required details and we decided to go there after lunch. Not that I was going to eat anything. The scan centre was at Tambaram, and on the way I saw quite a few small hospitals, one of them specialising in orthopaedics, that I had missed in the traffic the previous night. Missing them was all in good stead, I suppose.

The orthopaedist had informed a technician at the scan center on what was exactly required, but he was unavailable for some reason. Either it was the impending solar eclipse, or he fell asleep after a sound lunch. It was a long time before I was taken for the scan. Till then I passed some time making fun of the board that said "Determination of the sex of the fetus (when did we go American?) is punishable by law. Not practised here".

What is not practised here? The law?

A technician took me to the scanning machine. A circular contraption with a long plank having a mattress and a headrest. It wasn't as bad as I am making it sound, but I am not able to think of better words to describe it.

The second technician made me tilt my head back and tried supporting it with blocks of hard foam. Once it began to get uncomfortable, I told him to finish the job fast because there is only so much pain I can bear. Warning me not to swallow while the machine was working, he left to start it.

With a hum, I was slowly moved through the opening. A metal wheel turned around me. I allowed myself to believe it was I who was turning and not the wheel, and that I was slowly getting ready to get ejected into space.

Nothing like a Calvinesque imagination to take one's mind off the actual scenario. But I could not help swallowing a couple of times. I may have created a world record for lying down the longest time without swallowing.

I travelled from Mars to Jupiter in that time. A universal record, perhaps?

The report soon arrived, and we tried making our diagnosis based on it.

"There is an arrow here, and it looks like something has been gouged out. Could be your jaw."

"Look at this thing bent here. Its opposite end is straight. This must be the place."

The technicians refused to comment saying they were not qualified. Very shrewd.

The orthopaedist had one look at the scan and declared surgery. He could have worn white flannels and declared me out.

"You have two fractures. One by the left jaw and a hairline by the chin. The hairline did not show up in the X-ray." He said we could start the surgery the next evening, once the medical insurance claim gets approved. Of course, all that after the dental surgeon had a look at me.

He proceeded to show us the location of the fractures. The left joint of the jaw had broken and moved inwards. It was the "bent thing" we saw earlier. The hairline explained why it hurt a little when the attending nurses at Villupuram scrubbed the wound.

I then began sending a flurry of messages to the MBMC bikers, my colleagues and some friends. I had preferred to keep them on tenterhooks till I knew what was happening and what was going to happen. Soon my hand got tired of sending messages.

My blood pressure was checked when I checked into my ward. An hour later, another nurse appeared with the instrument in hand.

"My blood pressure was already taken!", I exclaimed.

"Oh was it?", she asked. "But let me do my duty anyway", she added with a smile.

I had already taken a tetanus injection the previous afternoon, so there wasn't any need to take it again. I did not mind; I have stopped minding needles. Famous last words, I must say.

The night was spent alone in that ward. The next day promised some excitement.

When I woke up next day, I realised I would have to leave my teeth brushed incompletely again. And for a lot of days to come. That seemed to kill my appetite. Gone were those days where I happily avoided brushing my teeth, cleaning my tongue or taking a bath.

I have definitely grown older. And responsible.

The morning began with some tablets and a regular check of my blood pressure. It would not have been so bad if some of my right knuckles were not cut. Every time the pressure was increased, I could feel the veins throb all the way to my fingers.

The dentist arrived in the morning and repeated what the orthopaedist had done the previous day. I must be having a streak of masochism to allow such pain.

The dentist had a faint odour of tobacco about him and something told me it had to be Gold Flake. Now I am no authority on cigarettes, but it is also a possibility I know more Gold Flake smokers than anybody else. I must check with him though. Should I risk embarrassing him? It might be fun!

He outlined the various methods he would try to fix my problem. He said I would need plating on my chin to fix the fracture there. The fixing of teeth would have to be done after the jaw sets.

I picked up my copy of the Lord Of The Rings. Reading the entire set is daunting, but since I had nothing else to do I began turning the pages. The duty nurses would come and go, to check my blood pressure or clean my bruises.

It was decided that the surgery would commence at 8pm. I was told to shave the stubble on my face in preparation. I was only too glad; the stubble had begun pricking me and shaving would leave me feeling a lot cleaner.

As I looked in to the mirror, I spied the stitches that were put two days before. I had hoped they would be done neatly, like the stitches in a fabric. My expectations are high as always.

I was slowly shaving the sides of the chin when I noticed my Sr. Project Manager peeping in. My colleagues, spanning three teams, had come. They kept asking if I wore a helmet, and I had to keep telling them I did. After a few jokes at my expense, they gave me a bouquet of flowers (for which I demanded an applause), a get-well card and some fruits (which I first claimed I would not be able to eat, forgetting that I could drink the juice). Wishing me a speedy recovery, they trooped out.

I changed into a fresh surgical gown and lay on the stretcher. And I felt myself getting wheeled away.

In a typical-movie fashion, but without my anxious folks. The doors of the operation theatre swung open, and then shut.

The red bulb outside must have come on, but there was no way for me to know that. Like a train waiting in the siding for its share of the main track, I lay on the stretcher waiting for the arrangements to get completed.

A few minutes later, I moved to the centre of the theatre, then off the stretcher onto the operating table. Operating lights were in an arc above my face.

I looked around. I recognised the voices of the head nurse, the assisting male nurse and the dentist.

The dentist looked down at me from behind his mask and said,"Well Hyde, I am going to take off that French or German beard or whatever it is that you have on your chin."

I nodded my assent.

A few moments later, something dark was brought over my face and placed on my mouth.

Then everything went black.

Cont'd.