Episode 165 : That last dance

25 June 2005 : Last dance

We were made for each other.

We used to go out everyday. Well, almost. He took good care of me, and I never let him down. He used to work almost all days of the week, but that never stopped him from giving all his attention to me. I felt happy. But in my heart, I worried. I had heard a lot of stories where relationships looked promising in the beginning, but fell through after a year or so. After the freshness of the relationship begins to fade away, men always gave priority to other things. And sometimes other people too.

But even after three-four years into the relationship, he still took good care of me. But the typical man that he is, there were times when he neglected me. I only had to show a few signs of disappointment, and he would promptly pamper me. Take me to meet my folks, and make sure they pamper me too.

My fears had disappeared by then, when slowly things changed.

One night, his cousin borrowed me. He told them to be careful, but in his heart he knew, three of them at the same time would be too much for me. Then another time, one of his colleagues asked him if he could "borrow me for a little time". Though his colleague asked as if he would be the only one, we all knew there would be one more at the same time. But when another colleague asked him, he refused straightaway. I don't know if it made him feel guilty for letting others use me when they pleased, but I did not expect him to accede to their request even once. But I did it for him.

I suspected something was happening in the last few weeks. He appeared excited, was often lost in thoughts and spoke very little. True, we did go out more often, but something was wrong and I could not put my finger on it.

'You are working too hard. All seven days. We could hire a maid to work on the weekends. So you can have the weekends to relax. And I can afford the extra expense. What do you think?' he asked. I was not sure, but agreed to him. I could use a little rest.

I did not know what he was planning to do when he suggested I spend the day at my folks' place. 'Spend the Saturday with your folks and I will pick you up the next morning' he said.

When I was away, he brought her home.

He insisted she was there to help reduce my load, but I could see she had come to take my place. And she did. Once that was clear, he stopped justifying his action.

All this week, I stayed at home waiting for him. They went out together and I was completely forgotten. I do not know what came over him, but today he took me out. I wanted to show him that I did not care for him any more. I threw tantrums and refused to get ready. But he knew what to do. He knew exactly what buttons to press, how to coax me and soon I was purring in his arms.

Earlier when it was time to go, he would nudge me with the toes of his feet. Nowadays he uses his fingers to do the same thing. After she came in, his way of handling me has changed as well. A little rougher, he has forgotten I liked to be treated gently. On the outside, he gives the impression of treating me like a queen, but both of us know what is really happening with us.

I know this reunion is only temporary. He later confessed that he was with me because he was feeling a little weak and could not take care of her demands. She had been throwing a small tantrum each time they went out, and he patiently bore them all. I should have done the same thing. I should not have been so docile and let him take advantage of me. Hindsight, as they say, is always 20/20.

He says he does not want our relationship to end. But I do not see any way out. Soon we will have to separate. That is the only way he can be with her, because I know that's what he wants to do. He cannot take care of both of us at the same time.

We had a dance today. There will be one last dance before the formalities begin, before the end.

When that will happen, I do not know. Signatures on a few sheets of paper and our relationship will get annulled. All the time we spent together will be a thing of the past. I do not know if he will remember me fondly later, but I always will. No matter how many years go by.

Because we have a history together. And nothing will change that.

I wrote it two years ago, after I brought Garud and unwittingly replaced the old Flame. I wasn't able to sell the old Flame. I never got the right price, and to some extent, I guess I didn't want it to happen.

And now the old Flame has returned to take her place (ironically, on the day of Garud's 2nd anniversary), while Garud is getting operated upon. But the old Flame herself needs a little cosmetic work and I am using Tinkerbell, borrowed from one of the guys.

It is a never-ending cycle, eh?