Episode 202: "It's hard to say hello if you won't let me say goodbye"

I have often heard people say how they cannot continue being friends with their ex-es. I secretly scoffed at their inability to be pragmatic and not letting their heads talk instead of their hearts.

'Are you angry with me? Do you hate me?' she asked me.

'I am not angry, I do not hate you. If I did, I wouldn't be talking to you now.'

'Are you feeling uncomfortable that I am here? Would you rather I leave?'

I couldn't ask her to leave, and at the same time I knew I could not let the situation control me.

'I am not surprised you are here today, I had a feeling it would happen. But I will be alright' I said, allowing myself a faint smile.

I tried explaining that it is the hurt that causes me to be brusque, that causes me to avoid calling or meeting her. That I prefer to let time take care of it.

The experience was humbling as I understood what it means when people say they cannot continue being friends after breaking up. I can be formal, I'll try to be as polite as possible, but I cannot be as free and as cheerful as I used to be in happier times.