Episode 90 : Barbed wire

The winds raged, indicating impending rain while the melody of the flute, the beat of the tabla and the twang of the sitar meshed to form one of the many pieces of Hindustani music being played on the radio. It did little to quell the storm raging in me at the same time.

What follows is a rant. If you have no intention of reading a rant today, or any other day, now is the best time to go away. You have been warned.

Over the years, society impressed upon me the need to take criticism good-naturedly. Positive or negative, one's maturity becomes apparent when one reacts to it. And I, in my never-ending aim to be as correct as possible, took it on.

Back-handed compliments, criticism and barbed comments- I took them all. The ones that I did not expect, I shrugged them off with a self-deprecating joke. The times it did not work, the response was more caustic.

I used to hide my initial reactions behind some kind of physical facade or using a lame piece of humour. And there were times when a comment would come out of nowhere, cut and retract like a springing barbed wire. I let those wounds fester.

So...

Learn to accept criticism when it is given with a positive intent. I do not aim to make others look like fools. I do not make a statement unless I am fully convinced I am right. Disagree if you will, but don't tell me that my inadequate proficiency in the topic disallows me from being correct. If you can prove me wrong, I will accept it and shut up. Otherwise I expect you to do the same.

I like my work and am proud to be a technical person. And for all you IT-bashers out there, I know we are like pestilence and rank alongside rodents and roaches. Given a chance you would like to exterminate all of us. Do you remember those times when your parents stood in long queues in banks until tellers finished their work before giving the money? Next time you indulge in IT Guy-bashing, just think how quickly you get it done today. And that's just one example. Cyber slaves we may be, but we are human too.

I may not give the appearance of being ambitious. I have gone through my share of crises before coming out on top. From being jobless for nearly two years to join a top Fortune 100 company. From being dismissed as "one who doesn't know what is good for him" to someone "one who is doing well for himself". It isn’t easy. I wouldn’t wish you to go through it

And just because I am not taking a 6-digit compensation package every month doesn't mean it is the end of the world. And neither is it the end of the world if I did not graduate from an IIT/REC or an IIM. There is more to this world than a plush apartment, a fancy car and a fat bank balance.

There are only few things about me that I really like. Tease me if you will, but if you think you can tease me about anything... think again. You, along with the rest of the world, have been merciless about my shortcomings. Humour is not always "sporting"; you wouldn't like it if I dished it out to you.

In the same way, don't comment about the pattern my life is taking unless you are very sure it will never happen to you. If it happened to you, you would think I am being cruel if I point out the irony. I know how it feels to say something insensitive and regret it a couple of years down the line.

I could go on and on. I can also hear you ask, 'But why Hyde? Why are you letting it bother you?'

Because 28 years is a long time, and there is only so much straw a camel can bear.

And no, I do not feel any better.

Note: Interrogation on this post will not be tolerated. Don't test your luck. Or your familiarity with me.