Episode 91 : Match game

Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match.
Find me a find, catch me a catch.
Matchmaker, matchmaker, look through your book
And make me a perfect match.

I hate matrimony ads. I bloody hate them.

(Yes, I am not pulling any punches.)

At first they were amusing. They co-incided with the thoughts echoed by well-meanings members of the family and I could laugh them off.

First shaadi.com, then bharatmatrimony.com and finally jeevasathi.com.

It wasn't so bad in the beginning. A banner ad at the top of my inbox was something I could easily ignore. In fact, I noticed one of the models and wondered if I could locate her on shaadi.com.

So I got myself an account. But I didn't find her. I found two (only!) interesting profiles and one profile found mine interesting (well well!). But, none of them worked out. And later it got boring, so I killed my profile and began to lead a boring normal life.

Then I slowly began to get the feeling that the matrimony ads have upped their tempo. They started appearing at every site I visited on a regular basis.

Yahoo! Mail and Rediff India started featuring Google Ad-like ads on the side or banners at the top of the page to get my attention. I rolled my eyes in disgust and surfed on. Till Jeevansathi put up an ad that got my goat.

"Looking for an NRI with desi roots?" with a photo of a smirking guy below it.

And then another one; I forgot who's the culprit.

"Want an NRI who loves home-made khana" with a photo of a "homely" (somebody ought to tell them that homely means plain and unattractive) girl next to it.

So the rest of us who chose to work from desi-land are just a bunch of arseholes getting paid for warming chairs and croaking like frogs. (I used "warming chairs" and "croaking like frogs" in the same sentence. I have made my high-school Chemistry teacher proud!)

How nice. How very patronisingly nice.

But hold on. I completely forgot that being an NRI is as good as graduating from an IIT/REC or completing a management diploma from an IIM. Even better if the guy is an IIT/REC+IIM+NRI.

Silly stupid me!